- You made no difference in France.
- Why did you go?
- Your family went for nothing.
- Your life didn't count there for Jesus.
- The church you left behind has already forgotten about you.
- Your mission agency sees you as an afterthought.
Terrible words, yes. But words that strangle my heart. I suppose it's all a part of the grief of leaving friends and ministry and relationships behind. I know I should know better, taking those pesky thoughts captive like flies in a chopstick vice in the hands of the Karate Kid. Captive. Problem is, what does one do with captive thoughts? Skewer them? But what if they come back, more insistent?
This little, old song is playing in my head right now, and perhaps it's the key: "I woke up this morning with my mind just staying on Jesus."
Jesus.
Jesus.
Jesus.
Jesus who takes everything and makes something beautiful. Out of ashes, he draws a charcoal masterpiece. Out of tears, he makes exotic perfume. Out of failure, he breeds character.
Heather wrote Jesus' words to me. I am not forgotten. Patrick is not forgotten. My three children are not forgotten. We made a Jesus-shaped DeMuth dent in France, maybe just the tiniest one, but one nonetheless. Everything we do, when done for the smile of the Almighty, counts.
Maybe that's why patience is a fruit of the Spirit. Maybe it's that our lives count in an invisible way. We need patience to wait for streets of gold to see the impact our lives had in this shoddy earth. Maybe this side of eternity I won't know. But I can trust. And hope. And train myself to know that nothing is wasted in God's surprising economy.
Today I give Heather's words to you as a Sabbath gift.
You
are
not
forgotten.
Labels: grief
10 Comments:
The difference you did make will last for eternity.
You are not alone under the Broomtree. He sees and knows...
"Many are the plans in a man's heart, but it's the Lord's purpose that prevails." Proverbs 19 21.
Like Sara Groves says, "God is the great recycler."
There are some things that happen in which we won't know the "why" part until we get to heaven.
Not our purpose. Not our reasoning. His purpose.
Hugs,
Suzan
Thank you, Mary. I needed to hear these words, too. Especially the part about patience being a fruit of the Spirit. I had forgotten this! And also the resonance I found with someone else who had given her days to the work of Jesus in new and unfamiliar lands, and the jumble of emotions that flow from that.
"Everything we do, when done for the smile of the Almighty, counts."
What a gift indeed! We all need this reminder from time to time. It's hard living on earth. I like the idea that my life counts in an invisible way. It's enough to keep me pressing forward when no one seems to notice or care. Thanks for sharing Heather's words. (And thanks to Heather!!)
I just want to give you permission to grieve...
transitions are times of searching, and surfacing...
life does go on but often it feels like a strange sort of half-life that only dances with our former selves, and only on the slow songs.
it's ok.
we've all been there, and some of us are brave enough to admit it.
Mary--
I can't speak for your church, but all of the DeMuths made a HUGE dent in our lives.
We all miss Y'ALL!! BBBIIIGGG!
And that, my friend, needs no translation.
Meilleurs voeux!!
I like how God forgets the sin things, but still remembers us.
Confidence.
In Him.
Not in ourselves. For alone, we can accomplish nothing.
Through Christ ALL things are possible.
I speak this to myself today as much as to you. And I'll try and remember it tomorrow...
I cna't sign up for your newsletter - it says my email is bouncing. I don't know why.
It's sad.
We don't always see the impact we make on people, or the way we've advanced the Kingdom, but one day we will. Don't let the Enemy have the upper hand.
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