(Our neighborhood sky)This morning I battled myself again. I felt a cough rattling in my chest. When I opened the door, the morning air felt cold. My stomach gurgled. My fatigue level was over the top. So I talked to myself.
"Self," I said, "You don't need to go running today. Just take another day off. You're not feeling well."
"You're right," I remarked. "I'm so tired. I need a break."
"Yes, a break. Sit down at your computer . . . that place where your back and shoulders gets twisted into knots."
Aidan, my sweet, responsible boy interrupted my battling thoughts. "Are you going running today?"
"I don't know."
"Mom, you need to."
Great, now I had another voice to contend with.
As Julia readied herself for school, I trudged to my closet where my lonely running shoes awaited me. "OK, just a quick run. No long distances."
As Julia left, I trotted out the door to a glorious blue-sky day. The route I took today was a more scenic one with fewer cars and a view of the lake.
I smiled shortly into my run. In one million ways, I thrilled that I had the privilege to run outside, to experience Jesus on the streets of my neighborhood as His glory danced on the lake. Again I knew that doing the hard thing is really what's best for us. There is great reward in that.
My mind flexed back to France. We did what's hard there. There were days (months, for me) where I couldn't put my church planting shoes on, where I fought voices in my head that told me to quit. But I put them on. And I tied the laces. And I did my best.
Now that we're planted on Texas soil, I see the rewards of going across the world to share Jesus. Am I bewildered at the struggles we had? Absolutely. Do I understand why? No. Will I ever? I doubt it, this side of heaven. Do I regret it? No. Because my soul still reaps the rewards. Of sacrifice. Of joy. Of pain.
What about you? What are the shoes you're not wanting to lace up today? There is reward in doing what's hard. Glory, even. Because in doing what's hard, you move outside of yourself, relying on the strength of the One who invigorates the run.
9 Comments:
Thanks for a timely post in my day! I feel like Satan is dogging me and I'm having a hard time rising above it. I've been sitting here debating whether I should go to the Y or not and telling myself to keep doing the next thing. I can't say my life has been difficult. God has not asked me to move around the world to do His work, but many times it feels like the ordinary work, the stuff that needs to be done and isn't noticed unless it is NOT done is hard to keep doing. It's hard to continue the mundane, the unimpressive, but necessary. Yet I need to remember God sees. He knows. Thanks for the kick in the pants I needed today. I'm off to the Y.
What a wonderful post. Thanks for sharing and giving me something to think about. I won't burden you with my shoe laces today, but I can relate. :)
Thanks, Mary. This is convicting for me. And timely. You have no idea how timely!
Tami, you go girl!
Tina, love those laces, girl.
Elaina, I'm blessed to know that.
The way you felt about France is the way I feel about homeschooling. I feel like my "Texas" is coming soon and I don't know what things will look like next year, but they will be different. And no matter how hard these last three years have been (and it's been hard to see God in it) I know he was there and I'm grateful for every tear we've shed in the process!
Well, sorry to make such a literal connection to this blog post, but I read it at this moment because I was sitting her procrastinating going out the door for my run. If I don't leave RIGHT NOW I won't have time before I have to get the kids from school. I guess I'm outa here. :-)
Excellent, and convicting, post. We (I) always want to take the easy route - it's great to be reminded it's OKAY to work hard.
It was so wonderful meeting you at Mount Hermon - you're one special lady!
Congratulations on your new contract - can't wait to read them!
Well, for one, I immediately thought of my self-talk last night in getting on the elliptical. In the end, I did, and was glad for it. Now I'll probably do the same thing tonight...
On a more profound note, my devotional reading this morning was on this verse: "What I tell you in the dark, speak in the daylight; what is whispered in your ear, proclaim from the roofs." Matt 10:27
The devotional writer says "Our Lord is constantly taking us into the dark in order to tell us something...He causes our eyes, blinded by the glare of the things of earth, to behold the heavenly constellations. And our ears suddenly detect even the whisper of His voice, which has been so often drowned out by the turmoil of earth's loud cries. Yet these revelations always come with a corresponding responsibility." He goes on to say that once God brings us out of those dark places we are to share what He has told us. How interesting that you come back from France and then receive such wonderful contracts...
Yep. As a fellow runner and believer, I relate to all that you've written. So many parallels to life in the simple act of running. I've got to get out there and log some miles today in unseasonably cold weather.
It's cold, but sunny. I can start with that: the sun is shining.
Thanks for the inspiration.
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