My dear daughter has wanted to see Wicked since last summer when her friend Kate extolled its virtues. I'd purchased tickets for us to see it in London as a surprise for Sophie before we knew we were moving back home. So the tickets didn't get used. You can imagine my joy when I saw the musical would be in Dallas. We attended opening night and were dazzled by it.
I didn't know, though, that God would use Elphaba to minister to me. Now that I'm the big 4-0, I know I should embrace the wisdom God has for me. Snippets like:
- It's not worth your energy to worry about what others think.
- You will never look like 20-year-old you, so just get over it and embrace the new you.
- God is mysterious. Life is mysterious. Control is a misnomer.
- Choosing joy is hard, but worth it.
- Being comfortable and happy in your own skin is far more precious than a cool wardrobe.
- Children are amazing but they grow up too fast. Spend time with them.
One of the things Elphaba taught me came in the song "No Good Deeds Go Unpunished." Oh how I've felt like poor Elphaba, the grossly misunderstood Wicked Witch of the West. (I'll never watch The Wizard of Oz the same way again.) Though she tried at every turn to do the right thing, something I can't claim for myself . . . I'm so clay-footed, it went horribly wrong. People thought the worst, though the best was intended. You can hear the anguish in her voice as she vows to stop trying to be so darned good.
Elphaba's resilience in the face of so many naysayers ministers to me. Ultimately, she plots good again. Even though.
Even though others may not have deserved it.
Even though she was probably out of strength to do so.
Even though she knew she'd be remembered bitterly.
I love that. Elphaba reminds me that life does not consist of popularity (another theme of Wicked), but of character and doing the right thing even when you'll be judged for it. I had a lovely talk with Dena yesterday who shared something she'd heard. Our culture applauds and elevates talent far before we elevate character. So we place folks on a pedestal who are talented but may lack character, only to discover that truth later. So much of life and the hard-won wisdom I've learned now that I'm forty emanates from that truth. What is inside us counts. Who we are behind the closed doors of our homes matters far more than our persona.
I've worried about persona. I've asked God to sift me, to keep me humble. Granted, I'm human. I hate to admit that I love the spotlight. But I'm thankful my little piece of spotlight is about as big as a flashlight beam. As I prove myself faithful in the flashlight, perhaps God will entrust more to me. Even if not, I want to be who I am. I want to be faithful, joyful, resilient, dedicated and more worried about God's reputation than my own.
Once the Lord said to me, "Mary, are you more concerned about your reputation or your relationship with me?" Ouch. So much of my life as a pleaser has meant scurrying around trying to make everyone like me, or pacifying those who don't.
Like Elphaba, I've come to a place where I realize the sad truth that no matter what I do, good or bad, the world at large can misconstrue it. No good deed will go unpunished. But even though that may happen, I can rest in knowing I love Jesus. That I can entrust my reputation to His capable hands. That I can do good even when it hurts because I'm living for His smile rather than the fickle smiles of crowds.
It seems ironic that I have the Wicked Witch of the West to thank for such an insight. Funny how fragile, broken folks do that for a person.
10 Comments:
What a great post, Mary. I have never seen the musical, but read the book a couple years ago. Elphaba is indeed misunderstood because of her appearance and actions. But one really felt for her.
"I've come to a place where I realize the sad truth that no matter what I do, good or bad, the world at large can misconstrue it."
And not just the world at large, the "world at small," too - those who share our faith in Christ. Lately I've been second-guessing (though not deleting...yet) everything I say (or write in blog comments) because of the possibility of that misconstruement.
Part of that second-guessing is the natural result of my insecurity, my desire to be loved or at least valued for what I bring to this sacred table. But a more unsettling part of it is my fear that as I attempt to be the person God is making me into – as I write and talk and live this broken life in front of other people – I'll screw up and say or do something that hurts someone else. I don’t want to hurt others. I’m not afraid to offend them sometimes (if the truth in me compels that result), but I sure don’t desire to do harm. (I would hope people would say something to me if I do cause pain or damage.)
Maybe I'll just tattoo "I'm doing the best that I can with what God’s given me" on my forehead. Would that help?
Great post! I'd love to see the musical, but in the meantime, I just started the book last night.
Good strategy, Marzipan. If you set your default at "wicked witch," it's much easier to improve your persona. ;)
We can't control what other people think. I loved what Dick Foth said about taking the time to learn another person's story. But if people choose to judge us without knowing who we really are, or if they assign motives without taking the time to ask, it's really not our problem. It's theirs.
And one final thought. I don't want to look like the 20-year-old me, because she looked about twelve. The new me no longer gets handed the children's menu, and she likes that.
Another even more final thought. Elphaba should blame her parents for a lot of her issues. I mean, who's gonna vote for someone named Elphaba to be cheerleader? As if.
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Mary, You and your daughter are both so beautiful and look like twins! What a fun day. :)
I'm reading a book now called Here For You: Creating a Mother-Daughter Bond that Lasts a Lifetime by Susie Shellenberger and Kathy Gowler. Have you heard of it?
They do conferences for moms and daughters and are even sponsoring a cruise in Feb. 2008 for moms and teen daughters (with Brio). Maybe y'all can go! The book is wonderful. Here's the website:
www.closermomsanddaughters.com
I'll have three teen daughters someday so I'm learning all I can now from moms who get along well with their teen daughters! According to this book, there are a lot of broken relationships during these years.
Trivia: Your post prompted me to do a little research. After I saw "Wicked" on Broadway a couple of years ago, someone told me Elphaba got her name from Gregory Maguire's formulation of the initials in "The Wonderful Wizard of Oz's" author Frank L. Baum. So I thought her name was Ef-el-ba. Turns out the L. was the initial of the original creator's first name and Frank was his middle name: El-pha-ba it is. Right you are!
Mary, I love Wicked! Saw it last time it was in Dallas. Fabulous! My all time favorite musical is Les Mis.
San, after we talked, I looked it up to be sure. Silly ol' Elphaba! A curious name, to be sure.
Love hearing this review. I have been dying to see it (and I'm in commutable distance to Broadway), but it's always sold out or high prices. I'm just going to have to go, because I know I'm going to love it.
I'm glad that you and your daughter got to enjoy it together.
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