I had the privilege of signing (very rapidly) at the Personality Party on Monday. It's kind of like a cattle-moving endeavor. Folks go through these chutes/lines and grab three books. I'm seated here with two other Harvest House authors. We had fun!
On Tuesday night, I received my first critical email about Authentic Parenting in a Postmodern Culture. The "reader" asked if I was aware that writers like Brian Mclaren (who I quoted, among others) were New Agers. I knew the person hadn't read my book, so I replied (after praying) that she should read the book first, and if she had questions about it later, then she could ask them. I have heard nothing back.
In my meeting with Harvest House, I found out the book has sluggish sales because bookstores are afraid to stock it. The word postmodern in the title is turning out to be a detriment. Lifeway stores will not stock the book because they refuse to stock anything about the emergent church or postmodernism. I am dumbfounded by this, particularly since I attend one of the flagship Baptist churches! My guess is that the folks at Lifeway have chosen to blindly judge the book before they've even read it.
I almost started crying in the meeting, but I kept my tears at bay. I'd already had several difficult encounters at ICRS which I won't go into here, so this seemed to ice the cake for me. The redemptive part of this, though, is that I left the meeting to stand in line for Len Sweet's new book. When I met him, I handed him a copy of my book. He graciously accepted it. I told him about my email the night prior. I asked, "What do you do when folks send you nasty emails?"
He said, "Hey, Mary, I have whole websites dedicated to maligning me. I'm used to it. But when I write someone who disagrees with me, I write 'You may be right,' and sign it."
His response made me laugh.
It's true, you know. Who of us has the corner on God? How can we possibly say we know everything about Him? The key thing I've found through all this is the importance of love. Folks who lob insults without even reading the book they're maligning are not agents of love. And I'm not an agent of love if I respond in kind. Didn't Paul say something about this? We could do EVERYTHING right, but if we don't have love, we've accomplished nothing.
If this book sells, I'll be amazed! And even so, it's not about sales, it's about obedience. What hurts is that this book is about my courageous children who, by the grace of God, thrived in France. We lived through so much, and God showed up. It's all about Him. It's about the kingdom of God. It's about justice and conversations and mercy and daring to follow Jesus in difficult places with your children. So many will shun the book and miss out on hearing about this because of one volatile word.
The cool thing, though, is that several folk connected to media and the Baptist church have agreed to endorse the book. In that, I'm very thankful.
So, watch and wait with me to see how this unfolds. Perhaps if I look at it as an adventure, I'll enjoy the ride!
12 Comments:
Sorry to hear about the uncomfortable, unwarranted criticism. Sometimes I wonder if people have any idea, any at all, what it takes to write a book... particularly one of quality. If they did, would this change anything?
Mary,
It makes me sad to hear how people in Christian circles are judging a book by its cover! The people who need it the most are the ones hiding their fear by attacking.
As a new parent, I purposely seek books like yours. My baby's only one, but the culture is in rapid decline, and certain politicians hold french society and economy as a standard!
God will use your words to reach the very folks who need to read them.
I write for a review site: www.titletrakk.com, and would be thrilled to read and review your book. Go to the website, contact CJ Darlington (book editor), and she can arrange for a review.
I've had emails from people asking me to remove books I've endorsed on Soul Scents. They site websites that "expose" certain authors or ideas-I try to respectfully look at their opinion and make my own.
I once had someone ask to be taken off my devotional list because he/she said they couldn't put up with my obvious agenda anymore. The only agenda I have is sharing God's grace. If that offends then so be it.
You're doing good work, Mary. Let the Lord handle all this. I've started your book and it's written with the usual Mary candor and insight. Good work!!
Mary, I'm praying over your book that those who need to read it, will read it. I know that your words will not be in vain and that God will use them to bring glory to Himself.
I guess you're giving us a literal example of how we coined the phrase "Can't judge a book by it's cover". I wonder if anti-postmodernists (is that a word??) would ban a book entitled "Postmodernism stinks" just because it had the word postmodern in it? Probably so.
In doing a tiny bit of research about emerging/emergent churches for a friend, I discovered Albert Mohler, a prominent SBC seminary president, is against that movement. Therefore, you'll have trouble with Lifeway. Sorry about that.
On the plus side, I mentioned the title of your book to my BIL, who is working toward his Master's in marriage & family counseling, and he wants to read your book!
Hi all,
Thanks for your comments. I appreciate ALL of them! I believe the book will be reviewed by Title Trakk, so that's cool.
As to the postmodernism in the title, the book is not a lovefest for postmodernism. It's simply about how to navigate a postmodern world with your kids. So, I describe postmodernism and modernism but don't wholeheartedly ascribe to either. It's more about developing a biblical worldview alongside your kids and being real and authentic in your own journey with Jesus. I hope that clarifies...
I am going to address my very similar response to the "postmodern" word in my review that will post on Monday at 5minutesformom.com. At first, I didn't want to mention that, lest I offend (you), but now I see that my admission of that and my process of actually reading what you have to say might be helpful to others who could have the same (erroneous) gut reaction that I did.
Oh, Mary! I just hate that you've suffered criticism and locked door by Lifeway. I am proud of you for being obedient and writing the book God laid on your heart. That is our job. He will take care of the rest. Jesus' words were not revered by many. Many turned away. So He understands your hurts.
I have to say thank you to you for helping point me in the right direction Monday. I'd just arrived at ICRS and was so lost! Thank you for in the midst of your difficulty still having the ability to reach out a helping hand.
Blessings,
Leanna
Mary,
I ordered this book a couple of weeks ago, thinking that if I ever get to be a regular attender at RCWG, then I'd like to know your writing better! I've had your fiction loaned to me by mutual friends, but really wanted to read what you wrote on this topic.
Now I'm writing to you as a reader and as a parent, no "author" in sight, and from what I've read so far, this is a book for all christian parents in this generation!
We've raised our children well, they've grown to love the Lord. With our two oldest starting to leave the nest, new anxieties have arrived rather than the anticipated sighs of relief that we'd gotten them there. Nothing major, but some poor choices right off the bat were their first response. We've been grappling with why our parenting hasn't carried over, why they're rejecting the trajectory we "shot them out of the bow" with.
As my husband and I began to read more about "authentic parenting" for this generation, bells went off, or should I say SIRENS BLARED (and yeah, I've lived in Europe...I'm hearing those nasty ones that rule the cities there!) We have done a great job parenting, but you've given us so much to think about that we can still do better! The fun thing is that though they're heading out the door, it's still not too late! In fact now is the time that we've needed this advice the most.
My husband would never read a "parenting book", to be honest I rarely do either, but he understands the change in society and that has made him willing to see how his parenting might need to change as well. As an educated man who lives and works with a real "world view" I actually think that the title IS what drew him in.
I could go on and on, I'm sure, so if you see me at writers group and are still in need of encouragement, just ask, I'd be happy to oblige.
This IS an important message that God has given to YOU to share with us, so, please...don't even worry about the sales! =+)
Blessings,
Rebecca
Just a thought, but I'd say Jesus was rather "New Age" himself...
Mary--
It was such a pleasure to meet you at ICRS (however briefly!). I know what you're saying about writing being about obedience and humility and not about success. It's a lesson I've been learning over and over in my writing life, and it's painful, but so valuable. (At the same time, I have to say, God, I would be incredibly content if my next book were a bestseller! ;-)
You are a wonderful, wonderful writer. Thanks for what you do. Wish you all the success in the world.
Mary, you're a gifted writer with a sweet spirit and your thoughts always bless me.
Unfortunately, when we quote or align ourselves with folks who are controversial, it becomes problematic in more ways than one. There are certain 'buzz words' that still raise a red flag in my mind also, and one of these is 'postmodern', 'emergent, 'Brian McLaren,' and (sigh) even 'Len Sweet.' Nothing against the men personally. But much of what they espouse disturbs me. I don't know where you stand with all this, but if you have time, here's just one link that sheds some light:
http://www.lighthousetrailsresearch.com/leonardsweet.htm
Praying that God will bless you and give you a discerning heart in all this. For everything that matters, keep writing!
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