I flipped through channels the other day, landing on this inane show about who looked good in swimsuits and who did not.
They profiled an older lady who wore a bikini. When they showed a shot of her backside, the trendy hosts went OFF on her. Words like, "She better hide all that flubber." or "She has no right to be in public like that."
While I understand the importance of covering ourselves modestly (of course), it was the banter of these airbrushed people that horrified me. The woman's worth had everything to do with how she looked. And since she had cellulite, she was not worthy.
I flipped away.
But then all those words flooded through me.
I have flab. I have cellulite where there didn't use to be any. I'm not the same Mary I was at 20. I went down the woe-is-me, how-ugly-I-am trail for a few minutes before I told myself to stop. Then the question came to me: What if all we had was skin deep?
I knew a woman once who lived only for how she looked (and she was in ministry). As she aged and changed, I noticed fear and worry melt into her. She would not always be beautiful on the outside. As her "beauty" slipped away, panic set in.
I've had moments like those.
Sometimes I worry that I'll be disfigured in an awful accident as penance for worrying about how I look. I'm crazy that way. But when I settle myself and pray, I realize this central truth: My beauty is what's inside.
And my goal is not to race to prevent aging. Or wallow in pity as my body shifts. Or worry about how long I can wear certain swimsuits. My goal is to allow Jesus to beautify my soul, my heart, my inner life. No one, not even age, can rob me of that. And it's a beauty that can only grow, by God's grace.
I thank God this is not all there is. Because of the laws of entropy, everyone will get old and die. Things will sag. But our souls will live forever. Why not work on the beauty of the soul, hoping to live for that which is deeper than the skin?
They profiled an older lady who wore a bikini. When they showed a shot of her backside, the trendy hosts went OFF on her. Words like, "She better hide all that flubber." or "She has no right to be in public like that."
While I understand the importance of covering ourselves modestly (of course), it was the banter of these airbrushed people that horrified me. The woman's worth had everything to do with how she looked. And since she had cellulite, she was not worthy.
I flipped away.
But then all those words flooded through me.
I have flab. I have cellulite where there didn't use to be any. I'm not the same Mary I was at 20. I went down the woe-is-me, how-ugly-I-am trail for a few minutes before I told myself to stop. Then the question came to me: What if all we had was skin deep?
I knew a woman once who lived only for how she looked (and she was in ministry). As she aged and changed, I noticed fear and worry melt into her. She would not always be beautiful on the outside. As her "beauty" slipped away, panic set in.
I've had moments like those.
Sometimes I worry that I'll be disfigured in an awful accident as penance for worrying about how I look. I'm crazy that way. But when I settle myself and pray, I realize this central truth: My beauty is what's inside.
And my goal is not to race to prevent aging. Or wallow in pity as my body shifts. Or worry about how long I can wear certain swimsuits. My goal is to allow Jesus to beautify my soul, my heart, my inner life. No one, not even age, can rob me of that. And it's a beauty that can only grow, by God's grace.
I thank God this is not all there is. Because of the laws of entropy, everyone will get old and die. Things will sag. But our souls will live forever. Why not work on the beauty of the soul, hoping to live for that which is deeper than the skin?
14 Comments:
Oh Mary, I love your heart. A great reminder for every woman. Even those of us who are confident, I'm sure, still struggle with these thoughts. No matter how much the world deems us "beautiful" we will always see flaws that no one else sees. I struggle with beauty issues often. Thankfully we don't watch TV or I'd probably focus on my outward beauty WAY MORE than I do now, which would be insane.
My greatest, greatest hope is to TRULY find my contentment in Jesus. To not need the beauty of this world. But to just be the beauty He wants me to be. I always call it the beauty that lasts for eternity, not just a lifetime.
Oh and I'm only 24 but those lovely people would have totally said I'm not worthy to wear a bikini in public. But I have two treasures, two children, who make my stretch marks worthy of making me unworthy of being the world's idea of beauty.
It's a constant battle. Oddly, I didn't deal with negative body image in France...which has everything to do with the magazines and ads in the USA>
"Things will sag"--Ah, you've just hit upon my new motto. :D
Really though, shows like that bleep me out. I like advice on how to buy a good bathing suit for my body type, however I can't stand to hear women critiqued and evaluated on looks alone. WE ARE SO MUCH MORE. AND WITH GOD WE ARE SO MUCH MORE THAN WE CAN EVEN IMAGINE. Okay, I took it off caps and took a deep breath. :D
One of my favorite pictures of another woman is the one of Mother Theresa holding a baby. It's in black and white, but you can see hundreds of wrinkles in her skin, but oh, oh, that expression and the love shining from her. Wish I could provide a link to show you.
You spoke to me today.
~ Wendy
This is a "beautiful" post. :-)
The media has projected onto us an image that we can't live up to. You can only photoshop pictures, not real life. Half of the people they show in magazines are airbrushed to look "perfect."
The most beautiful person in the world can also be the ugliest person in the world on the inside. When we let Christ that is on the inside shine on the outside, we truly become all around beautiful.
I enjoy your blog and I recommended it to my readers. Be blessed!
I totally agree on this, Mary. God looks on the heart, while man looks on the outward appearance, which we are reminded of, sometimes rudely, every day.
I can sense your passion about this subject. Thanks for sharing your perspective.
Thanks so much, you sweet women! We are sisters in this. Maybe we should form some sort of "beauty on the inside" society....
Thanks Mary for reminding all of us that outer beauty will certainly fade. At 72 I can tell you I am not what I was at 22. :-) But in God's eyes I have improved so much since 22. Heloved me then and He still does. A good reminder for all of us. Clella
Beautiful post! The message we convey to young ladies through the media is incredibly detrimental. I am so grateful that my worth is not determined by how I look in a swimsuit! Yikes! I pray that one day, the mainstream standard will be God's not one set by society! Love it!
Chrystie
Sadly, I work in an environment where you are constantly judged on the "skin deep". Thin is in and fat "ain't happenin'" at our office. Not by everyone of course--but we ALL get to hear it. It takes a determined heart not to fall in with that line of thinking when it is thrown around on a daily basis.
After doing some hard thinking about the "shape" I am in at the age of 47---(living in a body that is NOT what it was 10 years ago) I was knocked on the head with the thought...."I am being far to vain about the outward...it's my inward--my very innards (if you will pardon that) that God is judging..not that I'm to be lazy and be a glutton about food---but I carry on too much about the extra weight that has accumulated since mid-life hormonal issues have arose. I prayed to change. My heart first.
I enjoyed this post---it reminded me of my promise to HIM!
~Angie
Amen Mary, we should all continue to encourage the correct frame of mind when it comes to image and security!
It can be such a battle.
Thanks,
Sue
Angie, what kind of job is that?
Yes, heart first is the best way to change!
Well put, Kindred Heart.
Thanks Pathfromthehedtoheart!
A wonderful saint in the Lord used to say, "You're not old, until you get wrinkles in your soul."
As for gray hair, I feel I've earned everyone of them. :)
blessings*
What a wonderful post! Thank you, Mary. We all know this but we need such reminders to help us push past what the world keeps trying to tell us.
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