Finding Home

I read a lot of books. For endorsement. For pleasure. For the sheer joy of reading. Not all books stay with me. Not all books make me think, make me linger long after the book's closed to ponder. But this one, Finding Home by Brad Huebert, did all that.

It's a parable of a man trying to be a perfect, obedient Christian only to find himself burned out and deeply, utterly discouraged by all that toil. It's about authentic Christianity, about the importance of genuine relationship with Christ. It's a beautifully written picture of our struggle to perform instead of abide.

If you find yourself in that place of burnout, if you feel there's something missing inside, pick up this modern parable and let God use this story to change your perspective.

The Scary Girl Dream

So I had this dream.

In it, a girl I once knew sat behind a desk shuffling papers. Each paper was an indictment against me, detailing what I'd done wrong. She showed those papers to anyone who would pass by, and each one would nod, look at me with disgust, and walk on by. Every person agreed with her assessment of me.

Problem was, as she read from the papers, I realized each page had a glaring error on it, some little detail that tinted the entire page. That one little falsehood made me look awful. Without it, the page read accurately, showing me, who I was, with reality. I pointed this out to her, but she refused to listen. And she camped and harped on the one detail about me that was wrong.

There was nothing I could do to change her mind. And I understood truly that she, of course, would have a terrible opinion of me if those little details were true.

All I could do was shake my head and walk away and let her spread lies like poison.

I woke up with a start, remembering. Thinking back on some painful interactions with people where there was nothing I could do or say that would convince them otherwise. How my trying to help them understand only made me look more guilty of something I never did. How I dug myself into further ridicule.

And in all that, I rested on this: God is either in control or He's not. And I have very little control in this life, particularly what people believe about me. I cannot manage my reputation. All I can do is look at myself, ask Jesus to examine my heart, make amends where needed, and seek to walk with humility and grace. And remember this beautiful picture: God grants us feasts in the presence of our enemies. (See Psalm 23 if you don't believe me.)

The real miracle isn't that I can redline the negative things people believe about me. It's that I take those misconceptions and lies and place them in the hands of the One who was deeply misunderstood. And then wait for the feast He'll prepare in the midst of the swirling negativity.

Oh Lord, let it be. Let it be. I'm hungry for Your feast and tired of trying to manage my own reputation. You do it, Lord. I entrust myself to You. Help me to crane my neck just so, so I hear Your voice, not the naysaying voices of those who choose to believe the icky stuff. I'm not saying I'm perfect, Lord. Not by any stretch. But sometimes I let the words of those who are offended or angry define me. It's YOU who define me. Let me rest there. Let me feast there.

The tree is me

The Lord spoke to me as I jogged by this seemingly dead tree the other day. I'm finally coming to the place where I'd like to write about it.

So much of my earlier years felt like this tree--decaying, dried out, devoid of life. Sometimes our early days go this way, don't they? I'm not sharing this to point the finger, to blame, to even make sense of my childhood. Because today I am deeply aware that who I am today is resurrected from the decay of what once was. That, to me, is the beauty of this tree.

Because as I jogged by, the Lord reminded me to look up. Although the lower branches seemed stark and dead, the tree's upper branches boasted green brilliance. Such life! Such new, spring joy! Springing from a seemingly dead tree.

Then He reminded me of my husband's life-changing words to me. "Mary," he told me. "My hope is that I can make the latter half of your life more beautiful, more full, more alive than your first half."

He, by God's strength, has kept his word. I have a vibrant, joy-infused life today. My trunk (and my humble beginnings) may bear the scars of a difficult past, but even so, life has sprouted. Alleluia!

Scary Dogs, Empathy and Confidence

Hubby and I had an interesting interchange last night while we walked Pippin the wonderdog at the park. Hubby likes to let Pippin be free, off leash. This freaks me out, not because Pippin is a naughty dog (he's very sweet), but because I remember how deeply afraid I was of dogs growing up and there were kids and adults around who may have had that same fear.

When Pippin ran, unleashed, toward a boy, I saw terror in his eyes. I knew that look. I grabbed Pippin and asked hubby to please re-leash him. "When there are people around, we have to leash him," I told my husband.

"I have never seen anyone be afraid of Pippin," he said. Nonetheless, at my kind (nagging!) insistence, he fixed the leash on Pippin.

"I see it," I said.

As I ran this morning, I mulled over the interchange in my mind. Because I'd been bitten by a neighbor dog and chased by dobermans, I had an instinctive empathy to anyone who might be afraid of dogs. Since my husband didn't have that experience with dogs growing up, he was somewhat blinded by people's worry.

It's not that either of us is right or wrong, just different.

I need to let go a bit, which is what my husband emulates. He helps me be free.

But he also needs to know there are afraid people out there. He needs some caution.

Here's my final formulation: I can thank God for the dogs that terrified me. Why? Because in the aftermath of that, I have empathy. And Patrick can thank God he didn't face scary dogs. Why? Because in the aftermath of that, he has confidence.

Confidence and empathy, both good things. Which is why I love marriage, why I enjoy what God creates between the two of us: a blessed balance.

Your feedback appreciated

I'm tentatively working on a possible book idea and would love your reaction to a few questions about spiritual warfare. Please access the survey here. Thank you VERY much! Your feedback will really help me.

Do you tweet?

If you do and would like to follow me, click here. Happy tweets, everyone! Here's a sample of today's offerings (which shows just how weirdly eclectic I am):

mdemuth: Here is the link to the Christian fiction sales story: http://www.tennessean.com/article/20090318/NEWS06/903180416/0/RSS05

mdemuth: "Sales of Christian fiction remain strong. In Christian fiction, there's hope in the midst of trouble" Bob Smietana from The Tennesean

mdemuth: "I used to rule the world. Seas would rise when I gave the word. Now in the morning I sleep alone, sweep the streets I used to own."Coldplay

mdemuth: A must read post about contentment from author @SharonHinck http://bit.ly/VC1xM. Wow.

mdemuth: OK, that's a weird name for a lawncare company: Jurassic Lawn Care.

mdemuth: "Hoping to find some unforgotten words or ancient melodies . . . I guessed the rains down in Africa . . . " Another happy song.

mdemuth: "Oh you look so beautiful tonight . . . in the city of blinding light." I CAN BARELY HOLD IN MY JOY AT U2 TICKETS!!!!!!!!!!

mdemuth: Got my work done for the day. Now I'm creating a menu plan for the next month. Tonight: Stir fried beef with noodles over salad.

Good Practices

Those two words are reverberating through me today as I once again try to foster discipline in my life--to spend time with Jesus, to pray, to examine my day with purpose, to eat well, to worship in song, to exercise, to bless my children with attention and prayers, to read out loud to my kids, to be alive in the moment.

These are all things I desire. These are all things I know will deepen my relationships, my resolve to follow Jesus.

Why is it so hard to do these things, then? Why is it so hard to run away from good practices? Ah, I can be so lazy, so self-slothful. But today's a new day, a clean piece of lined paper full of possibilities. As I ran in the neighborhood, then through the park, I sensed God whisper the word Sanctuary to me. He did it as I watched birds pecking at food from a feeder. I want my home to be that kind of place--a place of sustenance, a place of invitation, a place of welcome. But to have that, I must first have His sanctuary ways deep in my heart.

I remembered the line of an old Kim Hill song:

"You are my lifeline. You are my sanctuary. You are my torchlight. This is my testimony."

He is all those things. But I'm afraid in the rush-rush of to do lists and the frenetic pace of this life, we forget His sanctuary ways. We forget to take shelter under His wings, preferring to try to fly on our own cardboard wings. We flap longer, faster, thinking we'll finally fly, only to crash to the ground in a heap, wondering why God didn't help us fly. He didn't because we didn't need Him.

This world is an illusion, a matrix if you will, full of bells and whistles and attractions. We chase crazily after all of it, only to grasp at air. What is real is this: eternity. Jesus. Relationships. Prayer. Hope. Words.

I fear we spend most of our days chasing unreality while the reality chases us and we never turn around. And then we collapse under the fatigue of all that running, unsatisfied, needy.

Jesus, forgive us all for forsaking You, the fountain of Living Water, and digging ourselves into cisterns that can hold no water. Forgive us for flying on cardboard wings, chasing after illusions. Forgive us for being far too busy for Your voice, Your beckoning, Your strength. We are a tired people, Lord. We are needy. But we don't run to You for sustenance. We keep at our pace, forgetting Your sanctuary. Bring us back. Forgive us our busyness. Center us on Your heartbeat. Keep us close to Your wings, Your breath, Your sustenance. We are tired of running on empty. Forgive us. Oh dear Jesus, forgive us. We want to rest in Your forgiveness today. Now. In this moment. Stop us. Help us to choose the art of stopping long enough to smell the air of rest, to revel in Your beckoning. You are good. You are strong. You are our hope. You are the reason we live, move, breathe. You are everything. But we think we are. Forgive us. Renew us. Settle us. Rectify us. Imbue peace where rushing and hurry just lived.

Scripture for meditation:

"For My people have committed two evils: They have forsaken Me, The fountain of living waters, To hew for themselves cisterns, Broken cisterns That can hold no water" Jeremiah 2:13.

Psalm 39

3 The more I thought about it,
the hotter I got,
igniting a fire of words:
4 "LORD, remind me how brief my time on earth will be.
Remind me that my days are numbered—
how fleeting my life is.
5 You have made my life no longer than the width of my hand.
My entire lifetime is just a moment to you;
at best, each of us is but a breath." Interlude

6 We are merely moving shadows,
and all our busy rushing ends in nothing.
We heap up wealth,
not knowing who will spend it.

The Junk Brothers and Redemption

Today I watched The Junk Brothers on HGTV while eating my frosted wheat cereal. Here's the premise of the show. The two brothers, Steve and Jim Kelley, forage neighborhoods under the cover of darkness, looking for junk that could be transformed into something useful, beautiful.

Today's show they found a pair of old wooden snow skis. Then, they take what they've found and create furniture (beautiful furniture, actually) using the castoff. In today's episode, they created a curio cabinet, shaped like the top end of a wooden boat, complete with mirrored back, glass shelves, a door, and an upper inside light. The skis framed the whole thing.

The coolest part of the show comes when they place the new piece of furniture on the cast-off home's doorstep, ring the bell, then leave. A hidden camera picks up the people chatting, marveling, and wondering how something they'd thrown away has become something beautiful.

Isn't that the perfect picture of redemption? Jesus is The Junk Brother (Savior) who takes our castoffs, creates something beautiful with what we perceive to be unnecessary in our heart, and reconfigures it into beauty. Then He dares to surprise a dying world with the beauty He's wrought in us.

All of this reminds me of this verse: "To appoint unto them that mourn in Zion, to give unto them beauty for ashes, the oil of joy for mourning, the garment of praise for the spirit of heaviness; that they might be called trees of righteousness, the planting of the Lord, that he might be glorified."—Isaiah 61:3.

And this one from 1 Corinthians 1:27-30: "But God chose the foolish things of the world to shame the wise; God chose the weak things of the world to shame the strong. He chose the lowly things of this world and the despised things—and the things that are not—to nullify the things that are, so that no one may boast before him. It is because of him that you are in Christ Jesus, who has become for us wisdom from God—that is, our righteousness, holiness and redemption."

Amen, folks! God takes our junk and rejuvenates it to treasure! Halleluia!

Win a Weekend at Laity Lodge Family Camp!

I'm a huge fan of this camp as our family enjoyed an amazing week there last summer. Here's a picture of our smiling selves at the week's end. It's beautiful there, absolutely breathtaking. And the staff is amazing, the food delicious, and the time with family wonderful.

If you'd like to win a weekend, simply share a tip or two about how you have fun as a family (share your tips), and link back to the Laity Lodge Family Camp contest site. By the way, you'll see some pictures of various parts of our family on the flash photos across the top of the screen!

Here are 10 tips to make your home a haven in this crazy-busy culture, excerpted in part from Authentic Parenting in a Postmodern Culture (which happened to be the subject of my keynotes last summer).

We make our homes havens by . . .

1. By letting kindness reign. Determine to treat your children and spouse with the same sweetness you'd give a stranger you're trying to impress. Remember it's God's kindness that leads us to repentance. What makes us think anything different would evoke our children's repentance?

2. By welcoming hard questions. It's okay to question. You did it, didn't you? Give your children the same leeway. Let them vent. Let them worry. Welcome their wrestling. Don't give pat answers; instead, let them work through their questions. Love them through a period of questioning.

3. By being there. Give your children the rare gift of your focused attention. Look into their eyes. Ask great questions. Relax alongside them. Dr. Ross Campbell says, "In short, focused attention makes a child feel he is the most important person in the world in his parents' eyes."

4. By limiting media. Steer your children away from mindless interaction with the TV or video games. Set limits and stick to them. Dare to believe your children are creative, innovative kids who can create instead of idly recreate.

5. By playing outside. We've lost the importance of outdoor play. Even if it means walking to the park with your kids, or swimming alongside them, or taking a nature hike, dare to move beyond the four walls of your home to venture out to see God's creation.

6. By weeping and rejoicing at the right times. We are to weep with those who weep and rejoice with those who rejoice (Romans 12:15). When a child has a difficult day, scoop her into your arms and cry alongside. When she makes a great grade, jump up and down and celebrate with ice cream.

7. By cherishing childhood. Our kids grow up so fast in this crazy culture. Keep them kids as long as you can. Let them play, run, stretch, linger. Limit activities when they're younger so they don't become little stressed-out adults at age ten.

8. By reading together. The most haven-producing thing I do as a mommy is simply to read to my kids. I still read to my fourteen year old! Discover books on CD as a family, lessening the tedium of car rides without popping in a DVD. My kids have stayed in the car to listen to a story finish.

9. By laughing hard, but not at another's expense. Joking and laughter are blessings you can add to create a fun-loving haven, but be cautious not to laugh at your kids' expense or allow them to laugh at yours or others' expense. Watch funny, clean movies together. Tell jokes. Tell funny family stories over and over until they become ridiculous. A lighthearted family that doesn't take itself too seriously is a haven-home.

10. By practicing God's presence in the mundane. Require chores of your kids. It teaches them important life skills. Even so, introduce joy as you work. Turn on the radio, dance, laugh. By learning to practice the presence of God during the chores of life, you create a productive, gratitude-based home.

So what are your tips? Believe me, it's worth entering this contest. You won't find a cooler, more beautiful, more fun family camp around! This one's top notch!

Review: Rachel's Tears by Beth Nimmo and Darrell Scott

Rachel’s Tears by Beth Nimmo and Darrell Scott is a painful, beautiful tribute to a girl who longed to see Jesus glorified in her life. Reading her words, seeing her handwriting, helped me again see just how beautiful my own children’s relationship with God is. It’s caused me to hold them closer to myself, cherishing the time God has allowed us together.

I enjoyed reading Rachel’s words on lined paper. And I was thankful her parents shared her whole life, including her own personal struggles. It makes the legacy of Rachel Scott more realistic, poignant. I love that Rachel was authentic, gritty—that she wasn’t afraid to admit her own weaknesses on the page and in person with her friends. I love that she searched for the underdog and befriended the friendless—all these things that seem elusive to the narcissism we see rampant in our society today. Her life proves to me that we have a choice every day to be kind, godly, interested, and engaged.

I also love that Rachel enjoyed creativity, but that it didn’t necessarily come naturally to her. She had to work at it—a great lesson for all of us, especially writers. Being excellent at something takes hard work and perseverance.

And something particularly inspiring: Rachel cherished and valued community. She loved her youth group. In today’s postmodern world where people see a need to find their “tribe,” Rachel found hers and reveled in it, demonstrating the key importance community has in the life of the believer.

An Interesting Read: Flickering Pixels

Flickering Pixels by Shane Hipps is an interesting book, discussing not the message, but the way we perceive, exchange and disseminate the message, particularly the media we're interacting with. Here's Shane on You Tube with Rob Bell:


What I enjoyed:

• Shane writes in an easy-too-read style. I read the book through on one plane trip.
  
• I enjoyed his discussion of how the written word changed us from a communally-centered culture to a more independently-minded one. It had never occurred to me how the simple act of creating language to be read changed society in such a radical way.
• I particularly enjoyed his language on page 179, where he exegetes common passages we've always filtered through Me-Myself-I lenses when the verse was actually directed at a community of people. So few people understand this. When referring to Jesus' words You are the light of the world, Hipps writes, "...These images are addressed to and describe a group, not individuals. Like Paul, when Jesus says you, it's plural, while the word light is singular. Y'all are the light of the world. We are not a thousand points of light; we are a city on a hill."
• I also love how Hipps' heart for people comes through in this book. It's his ardent desire, I think, to be countercultural in a relational way. Conflict, he believes, is best resolved face to face, not email to email. As one who lives her days via email, his admonition hit home. I need more face time with people because folks are more than the words they type.

What fell flat:

• I expected a more thorough discourse about why our current technology is "bad." Or studies as to why our penchant for computers and cell phones and twitters and facebooking can be damaging. He gave an apt history of technology in terms of the printed word, newspapers, television, etc. But what about today's rapid-fire technological change? How specifically does it damage? In what ways does it create community?
  
• I appreciated his discussion about image, how pictures and movies and TV have shaped our society, particularly a postmodern society. But I'd love to see this further explored: As artists who follow Christ, how can we best serve our audience? Is it simply denying image all together? Or do we combine words and image to reach folks? How? And what about storytelling? It seems to be a perfect medium to reach our story-loving culture. How can we best craft stories that reach people? (I would've loved a discussion about how graphic novels have become so deeply important and popular. My guess is that a combination of image and text resonates with today's culture.)
  

A listing of all the other posts in the blog discussion is here.

All in all, though, a fascinating book. In light of Hipps' love for community and discourse, let's talk about a few things together in the comments section:

1. How do you feel technology (particularly information technology) has fractured our society? In what ways has it enhanced community? Destroyed?
2. Think of the most techno-info-savvy person you know. Is he/she joyful? Why or why not? Is he/she frenzied? Why or why not?
3. Would you consider a fast from media and technology? If so, how long? What would be the benefits of such a fast?

I look forward to your discussion.

Warmly,
Mary

The prayer I prayed at Mount Hermon

What a blessing to have attended Mount Hermon! It was sunny, amazing, and loads of fun.

At the Palm Sunday service, I had the privilege of praying. As I thought about what to pray, I remembered a prayer I penned several weeks ago for the publishing industry. I reworked and reworded it. Several have asked for a copy. So here it is in its final form:

Please be with all of us who struggle to write words that honor You. We are only as good as Your strength behind our pens. We confess that we've let the worry of the world collide with our spirits, allowing stress to be our mantra rather than praise. Convict us when we trust the almighty dollar rather than Your provision.

Would You return us to the sheer joy of writing for Your renown? Would you remind us afresh that our words are tools You use to bless a dying, needy world? Help us to honor You first in our families, churches, relationships. And helps us engage Your world with a pure heart. We want to be a people with dirty hands and clean hearts.

I lift of up this industry, peopled with folks just like us who worry, hurt, and marvel. Would You sift through what is written so that our words stir the Body of Christ to new life? Would You help us all long for redemptive, convicting, true, honorable words?

What a privilege it is to write for You--the One who died and resurrected on our behalf. May it be that any shred of fame that comes our way is only a vehicle to make You famous. We bow down to You, the Word made flesh. Please give us Your words, even if those words mess with folks, shatter myths, or shake the sleeping. Help us follow You down the narrow, craggy path, through crevices and peaks, in the valleys and the dregs, so we can hear You one day say, "Well done, good and faithful servant."

Amen.

Watch the Panel

Here's the Christianity Today Panel's discussion: Living Christianly in a Post Christian Culture, courtesy of Tangle, Christianity Today and CBE.

Mount Hermon Prayers, Day seven

Pray for traveling mercies. Hooray! I come home today to my sweet family. A week is a long time to be away.

Pray for my final session about writing from the inside out. It's a good/deep/hard talk, one that I hope truly brings people face to face with Jesus.

Family LIfe Interview, day two

Today is day two on my Family Life Today interview with Dennis Rainey and Bob Lepine. We discuss Building the Christian Family You Never Had. Listen here.

Family Life Interview

I'll be on Family Life Today with Dennis Rainey and Bob Lepine today and tomorrow discussing Building the Christian Family You Never Had. Listen here.

Mount Hermon Prayers, Day six

We're winding down, so please pray for stamina on my behalf. Pray the Lord would use me to touch many with His love. Pray for divine appointments that I can step into, particularly that God would show me who needs to be prayed for. Oh, how I love prayer!

Please pray for my dear family who is waiting for me to come home, that God would protect them all, give them joy, and that everything would run smoothly in my absence.

Mount Hermon Prayers, Day five

Please pray for all of us celebrating Palm Sunday, that the Lord would be triumphant in our midst, that we would worship Him deeply and herald Him as king. Pray He would teach through me and give me strength.

Mount Hermon Prayers, Day four

Today I meet the folks in my major morning track. Pray the Lord would move mightily through us, that many would gain deep insight into their writing and hearts. Pray for sustaining strength for me and for protection as well.

My prayer: Thank You Lord for the privilege of teaching others about words. What a blessing! What an opportunity. Teach through me. I submit to Your leadership as I teach. Amen.

Mount Hermon Prayers, Day three

Today marks the beginning of the actual writer's conference. Pray folks would attend the Boot Camp for Writers major morning track, that I'd make great connections, and that I would be attentive to the whisper of the Holy Spirit. Pray I'd find rest and rejuvenation amid the redwoods.

Mount Hermon Prayers, Day two

I'll be spending one on one time with mentees today. Pray for stamina and strength and intelligence and direction. I want to be a vehicle of blessing to each person. Thanks so much.

Mount Hermon Prayers, Day one

Would you pray today for safe travel to Mount Hermon and a heart full of insight to give to those I'll be mentoring the next two days? I would really appreciate it. I'll be meeting with seven writers over 48 hours to help them hone and refine their nonfiction projects. In that, I'm also praying the Lord would give me rest and respite and rejuvenation. Would you join me in praying for that? Thanks.