Two beautiful sonnets by John Milton

My friend Dorian who is a professor at Dallas Theological Seminary sent me these sonnets last year. I'm pondering them, in light of editing my life.

Sonnet 19:

When I consider how my light is spent
Ere half my days, in this dark world and wide,
And that one Talent which is death to hide,
Lodg'd with me useless, though my Soul more bent

To serve therewith my Maker, and present
My true account, let he returning chide;
"Doth God exact day-labor, light denied,"
I fondly ask; but patience to prevent

That murmur, soon replies, "God doth not need
Either man's work or his own gifts; who best
Bear his mild yoke, they serve his best; his State

Is Kingly. Thousands at his bidding speed
And post o'er Land and Ocean without rest:
They also serve who only stand and wait.

Sonnet 7

How soon hath Time, the subtle thief of youth,
Stol'n on his wing my three and twentieth year!
My hasting days fly on with full career,
But my late spring no bud or blossom show'th.

Perhaps my semblance might deceive the truth,
That I to manhood am arriv'd so near,
And inward ripeness doth much less appear,
That some more timely-happy spirits spirits endu'th.

Yes be it less or more, or soon or slow,
It shall be still in strictest measure ev'n
To that same lot, however mean or high,

Toward which Time leads me, and the will of Heav'n;
All is, if I have grace to use it so,
As ever in my great task-Master's eye.

Is our view of God masked by our own pain?

I had some significant, deep healing after reading Walter Wangerin’s The Book of the Dun Cow. I realized, through an interesting interchange in the book, that I'd been masking God by my own pain, projecting my own warped perspective on Him. I wrote the part of a chapter (of a book that never got published) about its affect on me:

Many of us view God as if he wears a disguise—a costume that looks like all our pain and fear and worry woven together. When we see him, we see our experience. Those who have happy lives tend to view God joyfully, as a Father who takes great care of his children. Those who live difficult lives tend to view God skeptically, intellectually knowing he is good, but not truly embracing his goodness.

Pertelote, a young hen in Walter Wangerin’s award-winning book The Book of the Dun Cow, had the latter experience. Bent under the tyranny of Cockatrice, a rooster who ruled with an iron beak, Pertelote recoiled in his presence. Half gray-scaled snake, half rooster, Cockatrice was the poultry world’s Hitler. One day, Pertelote escaped Cockatrice’s domain, but her pain and fear still resided within her. She made her way down river, tattered and worn out. There, across from her, stood another rooster, Chauntecleer.

Chauntecleer, a kind rooster, had been wading through mud, graying his lower feathers. He did not know it, but the dried mud made him resemble the evil-scaled Cockatrice.

When Pertelote spied him, she screamed. She thought he was Cockatrice, coming back to torture her.

Later, when Pertelote was safe within Chauntecleer’s kingdom, she agreed to marry him. Before they were married, Chauntecleer was troubled afresh by her first reaction to him at the river.

“My beautiful Pertelote,” he asked, “are you afraid of me?”

She said no.

He puzzled over her response. “But there was a time . . . when you were afraid of me, isn’t that so?”

Again she said no.

He asked again.

Again she said no.

By now, he was really confused. “But you screamed at me!”

“Yes I screamed at you,” she said.

Eventually, Pertelote shared that she thought he had been the evil Cockatrice. “Chauntecleer, what I thought I saw in you was not there. What I saw I should not have seen. My seeing was not true: The thing was not there, nor could it ever be there in you. I know that. My imagination made me afraid.”

We are a lot like Pertelote. When we see God, his goodness is masked by the pain of our past. We assign his muddiness to scales. We scream in fear because we cannot conceive of God as being for us. Many of us fail to risk because we cling to an inaccurate view of God. He’s wearing the distressing disguise of our pain. We project on him our humanness. We misunderstand him.
We forget that he is utterly different, that his ways are unfathomable. “‘For my thoughts are not your thoughts, neither are your ways my ways,’ declares the Lord. ‘As the heavens are higher than the earth, so are my ways higher than your ways and my thoughts than your thoughts’” (Isaiah 55:8-9).

What if I suffer alone?

This post has been percolating in me the past few days. Bits and pieces come to me as I think about isolation and suffering. What happens if we suffer alone? Does it matter? Make a difference? Indicate a tinge of our own significance?

Job suffered alone.

Yes, he had his wife and his well-meaning friends, but in the depth of his pain, he felt abandoned. Not one soul seemed to understand. Not one person shouldered his grief fully.

We live in the world of Facebook, Twitter, and texting. At any moment of the day, we can be virtually surrounded by "friends." But we are a lonely people. We crave community. We do not want to suffer alone.

And yet, sometimes God calls us to a journey that feels scary and isolated. Why? I'm not intelligent enough to understand the heart or mind of the Almighty. But I can say I've grown deep roots during loneliness. And I've found more and more of Jesus in those forsaken places.

In Job 26, Job recounts the greatness of God, how other than us He is. He rebukes and the world trembles. He quiets the waters with a word. Be fascinated by the way this chapter ends:

"By His breath the heavens are cleared; His hand has pierced the fleeing serpent. Behold these are the fringes of His ways; And how faint a word we hear from Him! But His mighty thunder, who can understand?" (13-14, NASB).

We serve a powerful, surprising God. And if we suffer patiently and with faith, we'll begin to catch the fringes of His ways.

But what's the point of suffering? Are we like Job, suffering to prove our integrity? Why go through all that? Why alone?

One answer comes from a favorite book, When God Weeps by Joni Earekson Tada. She writes of her good friend John who suffers from a debilitating illness. And mostly, he suffers alone:

"God's purpose is to teach millions of unseen beings about Himself; and we are a blackboard upon which God is drawing lessons about Himself for the benefit of angels and demons. God gets glory every time the spirit world learns how powerful His everlasting arms are in upholding the weak. They learn it is God who permeates every fiber of John's being with perseverance. My friend's life is not a waste. Although not many people seem to care, someone--a great many someones--care more than John can imagine. John's life does something else. It disgusts Satan. The trust John shows God drives the Devil up a wall." (p. 108).

I gain perspective when I read and re-read this passage. Our suffering, even if it's completely alone, matters. Our praise in the midst of pain means something. It deals a blow to the Enemy of our Souls. It testifies to the angels that God is strong when we are weak and needy.

If you suffer alone today, consider deeply these words. God sees. He sees you. Even if you feel completely bereft of relationships, if you are friendless or some sort of pariah. He knows. He suffered in like manner on the cross. Disrobed, disgraced, and bloodied, He cried the agonizing cry, forsaken by friends, lost to the Father in a holy moment. He's been there. He'll meet you in the lonely, shattered places.

I know because I've been there before. Like Job, I've looked back in retrospect in those dark, lonely moments and said these words:

"I have heard of You by the hearing of the ear, but now my eye sees You" (Job 42:5).

Suffering alone changes our vision. We may have heard God in the past, but through the crucible of suffering, we see God. See Him! And suddenly the crying in the dark feels like a part of the journey toward knowing Him in an entirely new way. Not only do we shake the heavenlies when we praise through our trials, we move from hearing to seeing the Almighty.

If you are suffering alone today, take heart. Praise Him in the midst of the darkness. Praising God while the tumult swirls is great spiritual warfare. And wait in anticipation for the day you see God more clearly.

The lonely journey is worth it. It is.

New Mentors added to The Writing Spa

God's been doing cool things in my life--painful, but good initiatives. He's been slowing me down, helping me see that a frenetic pace is not His highest for my life.

In light of that, I've hired my two critique partners, D'Ann Mateer and Leslie Wilson to share the mentoring load at The Writing Spa.

We've critiqued each other's work several years now as Life Sentence. As Life Sentence, they've reviewed everything I send to the publishers, and are both highly committed to helping writers grow. Both lead the Rockwall Christian Writers Group.

D'Ann is a novelist with a terrific editorial eye for not only the big picture (plotting, setting, character development, etc.), but she is also meticulous about grammar and usage.

Leslie is a published nonfiction writer who taught me how to write a proposal. She's the reason I've been published in nonfiction. Much of the instruction you've enjoyed in the nonfiction proposal tutorial comes from her wisdom. She, too, can see the big picture as well as help with technical issues.

Read more about both of them here.

In fact, that's something unique about The Writing Spa. We provide both a substantive critique and a line edit in our services. That's like getting two edits with one price point.

We've kept our prices the same for those who want to utilize D'Ann and Leslie's expertise. For my services, the prices are higher.

If you desire to take your writing to the next level, or you can't figure out why you're not published yet and you need some help, take a trip to the Writing Spa by scheduling an initial consultation. We look forward to serving you.

Real Love is the Answer

A few days ago on my run, I switched things up a little bit, adding my ipod to the run. I usually enjoy running in silence, but this time I enjoyed listening to random songs. The first two songs really hit me, though, and I pondered them as I ran.

Love is the Answer by England Dan and John Ford Coley.

Real Love by The Doobie Brothers.

I remember loving these two song way, way back in my childhood, almost being drawn to them. How interesting. Both deal with unconditional love, with a love that draws and forgives and lasts. Even then, before I knew God, I reached for Him in my songs.

Running through my neighborhood, I told myself not to cry. So affected was I by the songs, by the fact that God wooed me even then, that I marveled at God's surprising, relentless ways.

I longed for supernatural love even then.

And several years later, by the sovereign grace of God, His wooing became complete. I wept under an evergreen tree, begging God for Real Love. Knowing, really knowing that, finally, my heart filled up with what it longed for.

Real love, God's perfect love, is the Answer. And I've been reveling in that Answer for twenty-seven years.

Read the First Chapter of A Slow Burn here

Check in every day this week to get a new installment of A Slow Burn. Read it here.

Guest Blogger: Kimberley Woodhouse on Tough Times

Today I'm so thankful to have my friend Kimberley Woodhouse here, sharing from her heart. I recently read her book Woodhouse Family Welcome Home: Our Family's Journey to Extreme Joy and LOVED it. Here's my review:

Woodhouse Family Welcome Home is an inspiring, authentic portrayal of a family that dared, by God's strength, to overcome larger-than-life obstacles. Not one prone to tears, I cried through their struggles, their victories, their beautiful togetherness. If you struggle with painful family issues or your faith's been on the back burner far too long, pick up this book and be encouraged and strengthened.

If you'd like to be entered to win this book for FREEEEEE, please comment! I'll have one of my children draw names. Thanks!

***AMY SIMON, You won!***

Now, some encouraging words from Kimberley:

Times are tough.

And in these difficult moments, I want to encourage you. For me, it was in the midst of all the hard circumstances that I truly learned to cling to the Lord. And I wouldn’t trade those instances and trials for easier times, because I know what I learned through them, how I sought the Lord through them, how I clung to His joy.

I pray that my story Welcome Home ministers to you, and I hope that we can all learn to encourage and lift one another up even in the darkest of days. And as a reminder to us all that we are never alone, I’d like to share a story today that I wrote several months ago on my blog.

Picking Up The Pieces

Last night my daughter, Kayla, was working on a jewelry project. As she carried the boxes of beads back to her room, a small box on the top slid off and tumbled to the ground.

"Oh no!" She was very distraught. Beads bounced from one end of the living room to the other across our hardwood floors and down the stairs. Thousands upon thousands of tiny little seed beads, decorative beads, and glittery beads.

I placed my arm around her shoulders. "It's okay, honey. These things happen. All we have to do is pick up the pieces."

Kayla was really upset with herself, but realized that I wasn't mad at her, I wasn't scolding her, and it just needed to be cleaned up. The task seemed daunting, but Josh, Kayla, Holly, and myself all got down on our hands and knees and began to find the scattered beads. We discovered interesting places the beads had flown and creative ways to pick them up. Pretty soon, our bead-cleanup turned into a laugh-fest.

As we were working, I thought about how it was a beautiful illustration of our lives. Sometimes we are hasty in how we handle things, or make a wrong choice, or simply - accidents happen. And as our lives crash into millions of pieces on the hard ground, we wonder if we can ever put things back together again. How can we possibly go on? There's too many pieces to pick up by ourselves.

And yet - there's the Master - by our side, picking up piece by itty-bitty piece. Helping us to see that it's okay, we just have to clean up the mess and move on. Sometimes we cause our own messes, and sometimes they are caused by other people or outside circumstances. The pieces may take hours, days, months, or even years to pick up. There may be some cracks, chips, and dents. There may be some dirt, dust, and lint clinging to the pieces. But the mess can always be cleaned up.

So next time you drop your box of beads, or life seems to fall apart and shatter into a bazillion pieces - Take a deep breath. Pray about it. And start picking up the pieces. We have a wonderful Savior who is by our side, picking up pieces, wiping them clean, and gluing the cracked and broken ones back together. Don't give up. Keep going. Pick up the pieces.

*******

Kimberley Woodhouse is a wife, mother, author, and musician with a quick wit and positive outlook despite difficult circumstances. A popular speaker, she’s shared at more than 600 venues across the country. Kimberley and her family's story have garnered national media attention for many years, but most recently her family was chosen for ABC's Extreme Makeover: Home Edition, The Montel Williams Show, and Discovery Health channel’s Mystery ER. Welcome Home: Our Family’s Journey to Extreme Joy, releases from Tyndale House Publishers September first. In addition to her non-fiction, she also writes romantic suspense and children’s books. Kimberley lives, writes, and homeschools in Colorado with her husband and two children in their truly “extreme” home. www.kimberleywoodhouse.com

Overwhelming trials . . . met with overcoming joy.

Kayla Woodhouse is not your typical twelve-year-old. Due to a rare medical disorder, she feels no pain, doesn’t sweat, and needs protective cooling gear just to go outside. With her restrictive lifestyle; countless hospitalizations, including brain surgery; and the resulting mountain of hospital bills, what’s a family to do?

How the Woodhouse family has faced seemingly impossible challenges is a story that has captured the hearts of America. Millions of people have experienced glimpses of their lives on Discovery’s Mystery ER, The Montel Williams Show, and Extreme Makeover: Home Edition

Now Kayla’s mom, Kimberley, takes readers behind the cameras to reveal their family’s journey as never before told. From medical sleuthing to cross-country moves, from freak fires to battles with insurance companies, Welcome Home proves that truth really is stranger than fiction. This candid life story reveals both success and failure and demonstrates how, even during tough circumstances, to shift your life from heartbreak to extreme joy.

Peak inside the Woodhouse family’s life (and their famous house) with a 16-page photo insert. (recently voted one of the show’s all-time best episodes!).

Slowing down, thank the Lord

So it's happening.

Not by osmosis, either.

I'm slowing down, deliberately.

I'm saying no.

This week wasn't easy. I still have quite a bit on my plate before it gets cleared. So I've had to work long, long days trying to attack the to do list with gusto. And boy howdy, was I tired. The kind of tired that drops me to sleep in a moment. (For an insomniac like me, this is pure surprise.)

But I'm beginning to see light. I spent some time in the dirt today, uprooting and creating. It spurred a frenzy of new yard plans in my mind, plans I committed to paper once I came inside. I'm excited to see it transformed.

I'll be honest. In the vigor of the week, I let the tasks overwhelm my attitude. At times, I felt like crying. But my dear family, and my husband who helps me grasp perspective, helped me through.

The light is beautiful tonight, a husky, waning sun that beautifies every branch in my garden. We ate from its bounty tonight, and for that I am thankful. I still find it miraculous that we can eat what we grow.

Tomorrow we will start a new page of life. Hubby will be teaching again. Alleluia! Our large church makes itself family-like and small by dividing into Life Groups (formerly known as ABFs, Adult Bible Fellowships). So he'll be teaching a Life Group the following Sunday. I'm expectant and happy. We've been in this time of healing from our last ministry endeavor over two years now. In a way, I feel like it's springtime for my soul.

So that's my little update. Not fully free from overwork, but getting there, step by step. And along the journey, I smile and praise Jesus for bringing me thus far.

30 Days of Summer Reads: Scared

Scared by Tom Davis.

Wow.

Maybe it's because I think I left my heart in Africa, in the northern regions of Ghana. Maybe that's why I loved this book. Or maybe it's because I am deeply saddened by the state of children and women in some of the poorest nations on earth. Or because sometimes I don't feel like I do enough and I need a swift kick in the pants to jolt me out of my American complacency to remember the marginalized. Despite the why, I'm thankful I read Scared by Tom Davis.

Davis holds nothing back. The reader feels the blow by blow atrocities through the eyes of a reporter who has his own soul issues. We see poverty. Crime. Sexual exploitation. Evil. Hunger. Disease.

But in the midst of that, we also see the uncanny grace God lavishes on those who suffer, yet bend toward His ear. We see humanity at its best, helping each other, vying to love. And we see sparkling hope in impossible places.

Such is the reach and scope of this book. Written with sparse, direct prose, Davis is a keen storyteller whose heart for the widow and orphan bleeds onto the page.

Don't read this book unless you're willing to be haunted, then changed. I promise you both things will happen. And in the midst of that, hope. Blessed hope.

Finally a moment to praise She Speaks!

Three musketeers? Me, Marybeth, and Ariel. (Ariel, what's your necklace doing?)

Giving away the very last Daisy Chain book for the She Reads Book Club to Micca Campbell

Life's been one of those crazy merry-go-rounds lately, so I haven't been the bloggiest girl. I hope you can forgive me!

In the past month, I spent over two weeks in Seattle, then several days in North Carolina for the She Speaks conference. And now, nutty woman that I am, I'm writing a book in a month. Please pray for me!

But I did want to pause and say a few words about She Speaks.

What a well-run, inspirational, sweet Jesusy conference. What I loved:

• How deeply the women leaders loved each other. What refreshment not to see icky catty stuff. Quite the contrary: these women prayed for each other, supported each other, encouraged. More than anything else, this wooed me. Helped me see that women friendships can be redemptive. Kudos to the Lord for beautifully knitting these leaders together!
• Really refreshing, God-honoring, God-whispered teaching. I've been so dry and thirsty and needy lately. Hearing refreshing, living-water-filled teaching blessed my socks off. (This is true today, even. I'm typing this barefooted.)
• The conference was very organized and it ran smoothly. If there were hiccups, I didn't see any.
• The chance to meet with so many writers. What totally encouraged me: folks I didn't know thanked me for doing Wannabepublished. I had no idea so many people were reading that blog. How cool to be a part of so many writers' journeys toward publication.
• I had a terrific roommate, Kristin Early, who is moving toward publication. It was a privilege to rejoice with her during the conference.
• I had a chance to interact with several of the leaders at She Speaks. And although I was on the outside a bit, they welcomed me as family. I know God is initiating new friendships.
  
• I had a life-altering conversation with a brand spanking new friend. The kind of conversation that stops you in your tracks, helps you completely re-evaluate your entire present life, and endeavor to change. Since then, I've been on a mission to edit my life, through the power of the Holy Spirit. I'm getting much better at saying no, at taking things off my plate. All as a result of a divinely-appointed conversation.
• What a blessing it was to teach a very practical session on book proposals! The class went swimmingly (pardon the adverb, but it did!), and I received great feedback in the aftermath.
  
• Zondervan blessed me and the gals at She Speaks by donating 300 copies of Daisy Chain. The book is part of their brand new initiative called She Reads! The fiction book club chooses three books per quarter, and Daisy became one of the first, along with The Shape of Mercy by Susan Meissner and Eye of the god by Ariel Allison. What a privilege to be in such company! We had a chance to launch the club at the conference. It's the brainchild of the amazing Marybeth Whalen. She, along with Ariel Allison, spearheads this. Think of it as a place where book clubs can go to find great Christ-honoring fiction.
• With that said, the coolest times I had at the conference came in hanging out with Ariel and Marybeth, kindred spirits, both. Fun, funny, deep, intelligent, sweet...I feel like I've made some new, lifelong, cool friends.

If you're a SHE, consider attending She Speaks next year, but don't falter. This year, in a recession, they turned away 200 folks. Only 600 allowed. So once it's announced for registration, sign up. Lickety split. Where else will you find godly women? Great speaking? Deep, fun friendships? Yummy food? Laughter? Help with writing? Speaking coaching? Leadership training? Prayer?

My huge thanks to Lysa TerKeurst and her crew for welcoming me this year!

30 Days of Summer Reads: Hope Rising

I read Hope Rising on the plane and during quiet moments at the Write to Publish conference last week. And in many ways, it changed my perspective on my own life. Crawling into Kim Meeder's heart felt like jumping into an adventurer.

The story? Kim and her husband bought some over-used over-mined land in Oregon with a dream. What eventually unfolded was Crystal Peaks Youth Ranch, a place where the Meeders rescued, nurtured, and brought back to life battered horses and ponies. And in the process, they've invited battered and broken children to help them.

As the children help the horses heal, their own lives intersect that healing, and they emerge more whole, more healed.

Hope Rising by Kim Meeder is a series of vignettes, chronicling many stories of horses and children in need of renewal. I cried several times during this book, touched by the beauty of redemption and God's surprising way He chooses to do His redeeming.

But what struck me most was Kim's spirit. How she viewed life as an amazing adventure, how she burst with empathy for anyone or any beast that suffered. Her spirit, her love for Jesus, her determination to bless others oozes out of this book in an invitational way. Reading her words made me want to see life through her adventure-eyes, not passing up daily moments of eternal significance, but stopping, then reveling in them. I want to be more of a people noticer, an observer of those in pain, one who prays.

So if these are qualities you admire and would like to cultivate, I suggest you read this book. It's winsome, beautiful, and full of hope--that even the most abused can emerge whole.

30 Days of Summer Reads: Violet Dawn

Violet Dawn, by Brandilyn Collins, is a roller coaster ride of worry, creepiness, surprise, and sweet vindication. Her prose is taut, yet beautiful. You’ll find yourself cheering for Paige Williams while loving the town’s likeable (and un-likeable) characters. Collins expertly draws the fictional Kanner Lake in a beckoning way—the way a good author tempts us to new books, much like Jan Karon wooed readers with life in Mitford.

30 Days of Summer Reads: Oxygen

Keri Wyatt Kent offers a unique framework for intensifying and deepening your walk with Jesus. Full of relevant stories, interesting spiritual activities, and an admonition to slow down and rest, Oxygen, when taken in systematic doses, will enliven a person’s spiritual life.

30 Days of Summer Reads: Coral Moon

Brandilyn Collins delves into darker forces of evil in Coral Moon. Fictional Kanner Lake is populated with folks dabbling in the occult alongside praying people who sense the darkness emerging. Beautifully written in taut, suspenseful prose, Collins woos her readers to turn the page once again.

30 Days of Summer Reads: After the Leaves Fall

After the Leaves Fall by debut novelist Nicole Baart is a haunting, stunningly-written novel about lost love, desire, and the beauty of God’s simple redemption of one life. I cherished her sentences, applauded the storyline, and left the book sad that I couldn’t read on. This is one of those books that stays with you.

30 Days of Summer Reads: The Shape of Mercy

The Shape of Mercy is vintage Susan Meissner: tender storytelling that keeps you hooked, living, breathing characters that capture your heart and madden you too, and a message of redemption that sticks with you after you’ve finished. Meissner deftly weaves the stories of three women of vastly different generations, connecting them perfectly, crafting a winsome, interesting, powerful read.