The Litmus Test: How well do we LOVE those who differ?

One of the most surprising things happened to me while we lived in France. Around the dinner table, for hours at a time, we argued with our French friends. They argued with us and with each other. And then we loved each other, kissed each cheek, and went along our days.

At first it really bothered me. How dare my friends question my politics in such a vehement manner? How could they be so direct? And yet, in the aftermath of the conversation, sidle up next to me, kiss both cheeks and joyfully continue being my friend?

That's when I realized that Americans argue differently. The French tend to argue to understand, to share a part of themselves, to put things out on the table, to stimulate a lively discussion. Sometimes they'd play devil's advocate just to stir the pot. I'm not saying this is right or wrong, just different.

Here when folk argue, there has to be a "right" person. In order for that person to be "right," he/she has to decimate the other person's opinion. There's inherent fear behind everything. If I'm not "right," then something about me must be wrong. Therefore, I must find blame in the other person's way of looking at things so I can feel secure. Right.

I've been this way. I've been deeply insecure about my opinions to the extent that I felt I needed to undermine other people's opposite opinions just to feel okay. Hopefully I'm growing. Hopefully I'm seeing that life is far too complex and opinions too multi-layered to have such a black and white perspective. And through all that, I think about Jesus.

We see Jesus hanging out with people who had vastly different lifestyles than what was considered "holy" in His day. Tax collectors and sinners flocked to Him. He seemed to invite them near. Children ran to His irresistibility. He was not afraid of their opinions. He always spoke the truth, but seasoned with grace. He kept his harshest, most pointed words for those who appeared religious but were hypocritical, but he kept an invitational stance to the masses. So much so that thousands of people followed Him.

My question: Do We represent the irresistability of Jesus when we talk to people who differ from us? Would Jesus yell at someone who differed in her political opinion? Would He lash out? Would He scream? Does hollering and pouting and stirring up fear represent Jesus' manner of doing things?

Consider this wisdom from the Proverbs, remembering that Jesus is Wisdom personified:

"An arrogant man stirs up strife, but he who trusts in the Lord will prosper" (Prov. 28:25).

"A fool always loses his temper, but a wise man holds it back" (Prov. 29:11).

And then from the book of James:

"This you know, my beloved brethren. But everyone must be quick to hear, slow to speak, and slow to anger; for the anger of man does not achieve the righteousness of God" (James 1:19-20).

It is my contention that we are more winsome like Jesus when we listen. When we hold back our temper, when we choose not to stir up strife for the sake of proving our "correctness." Our job is not to convince others of their wrongness and our rightness. It's not to change people's hearts. (We did not create anyone's hearts as far as I know. Only God can change a heart.) Our job is to represent Jesus, how He talked, how He acted, how He loved.

We should be so settled in His love for us that very little threatens us. That very little shakes us up. We know how to entrust ourselves to God. We know how to wrestle. We know how to trust.

I fear that so many of us (me included) have created a religion out of materialism, substituting it for our relationship with God. And when our "god" of happiness and material success is threatened, we take it as an attack. Why live in that kind of fear? Why worry needlessly about the future? Doesn't Jesus say that we have enough worry for the day? Do we truly believe He is in control? If we do, why all the anger? Other people's opinions cannot dethrone the beauty and power of God.

The litmus test is this: (for me, for you) How well do I love those who differ from me?

I'd venture to say that God will not hold us accountable as much for our political bent or fervor as much as He'll call us to account for the way we love those who hold a different view.

Win a professional package by reviewing A Slow Burn

My friends George and Ashley are running a really cool contest for readers/reviewers of A Slow Burn. If you truly need a website and a professional photo, this is your opportunity to get it for free (if they draw your name). See below for details:

Grand Prize Winner

FREE professional photography done by David Schrott (Winner must pay for the cost of David's travel if long distance, less than $500.)
FREE Basic Website Package from Tekeme Studios
1 Logo Design
1 Major Design, subtle changes for subsequent pages
Up to 7 Pages of Programming
1 Contact Form
Coordinating Blogger blog design & implementation
(Does not include CMS or web maintenance)

First Runner Up

40% off David Schrott Photography Services
Free Blog Design by Tekeme Studios

Second Runner Up

20% off David Schrott Photography Services
50% off Blogger blog design by Tekeme Studios

How Can I win?

1.) Write a review of the novel A Slow Burn by Mary DeMuth.
2.) Post your review on Amazon.
3.) Send TekemeStudios a link to your Amazon review, and we'll enter you into the random drawing!

RULES/CONDITIONS: You can only enter once. However, if you post your review on your blog as well, please send us the link. We will add your name to the drawing a second time. We will draw names once we receive 100 entries. If we do not receive 100 entries, the contest will be canceled. Entrants have until October 15, 2009 at 11:59pm EST to send their review.

ACFW photos of fun and frolic

Heather Diane Tipton and me. Isn't she beautiful?

My new BFF!!! I love Marybeth Whalen!!!!!!!!!!! (And I know I'm not supposed to use so many exclamation points!!!!)

Yours truly "busy" at the book signing.

Fab friend Rachelle Gardner. Her dress is fab!

My dear, sweet amazing friend D'Ann. Had to crop the picture because of errant bra strap issues (on me).

The fabulous, funny, beautiful Meredith Efken. Love her!

My roommate Ashley and friend Jim Rubart. Both were amazing encouragers and cheerleaders for me over the course of the weekend. Thanks, Jim and Ashley!

My beautiful friends Tosca Lee and Angie Briedenbach. Angie is Mrs. Montana something or other, like Universe or World Domination. Wow.

Domestic Violence: A Huge Secret

Yesterday I posted over at Proverbs 31 about domestic violence, offering support and encouragement to those going through it. Through email, several blogs, and the comment section, I received about 25 interactions from folks about their issues and struggles.

It saddened me that so few really talk about it. Shame, particularly in the church, prevents women from getting safe, or feeling okay about taking shelter.

It's one reason why I wrote Daisy Chain and the Defiance, TX trilogy. I wanted to give a voice for those who are going through this painful ordeal. I wanted to echo what Chuck Colson said about abuse here.

If this is your story, or the story of a friend, please forward the link for the post, or take it to heart. Read through the comments section. Savor the resources posted here.

Though this does not reflect my own story, domestic violence has intersected our lives in different ways. We have been able to help a few "Sarah"s. And we've seen the effects domestic violence has had on spouses and children. The damage gets worse the more things remain hidden.

It's easy to turn your back on a hurting family. If you happen to know one today, dare to be brave. Dare to help. You may be the only one to do so.

Knew-It-All

There was a time, I hate to admit, when I knew it all. I'd been around the block a few times, to borrow a tired cliche, and I knew what life was all about. Knew what God was like. Knew how to behave.

And there were times when I shared my know-it-all ways for all to hear--my simplistic view of the world, neglecting the complexities of the human condition, of faith, of life.

Today I know less than when I knew it all.

And I regret my words back then.

Today I rest here: in the sovereign mystery of God.

I don't know why bad things happen to terrific people. I don't "get" the world's pain. I weep alongside friends who weep their bewilderment. I cling to the God who sees, who hears, who rules as King. He is the mystery I cannot fully know. His ways are above my own.

Isn't it ironic that certainty wanes the deeper you go into the heart of God? It's not that I waver more, or doubt increases. It's that, in my smallness of mind, I can't possibly "get" God. I can't understand how His mind, His heart, His will works. And His plan is so above my own desire to have everything in its place.

Used to be that would freak me out.

Oddly, I rest in God's God-ness. His otherness. His ways are so much beyond my understanding, that I can rest in that, trusting in His direction.

A Slow Burn Media Tour: You can be a part!

Please join us for a (quick turnaround) tour promoting A Slow Burn. This blog tour will run from September 28-Oct 3, 2009.

You have three ways in which you can participate. More specific details on how to participate will be sent out once you sign up. (To sign up, email Tina at info@blogtourspot.com)

***If you were too late to become an influencer, there's still a chance to receive a complimentary copy of A Slow Burn. See option 3 below.***

Option 1: Writers - What better way to practice your writing than with some short and simple writing assignments? And your readers will not be disappointed since each project will ultimately reflect you. This option does not require reading the book.

Assignment: To be Announced

Option 2: Photographers - Love to take pictures and need an excuse to go shoot? For each tour, we'll be suggesting themes and specific words to capture through photography. Upload your images to your blog and/or our Flickr group, and we'll send people your way to see your art. No reading required. Note: images must be tasteful and appropriate for all audiences or they will be excluded from the tour.

Assignment: Capture the words "slow," "burn," "mystery," and/or "snake." Bonus if you represent the title "A Slow Burn."

Option 3: Readers - Don't worry! If you like receiving those books in the mail and reading and reviewing them, you still have the opportunity to do that as well. We will continue with our "standard" tours which allow you to receive a free book in exchange for posting a media release and/or review.

As always, we'll have a centralized tour website which houses all of the information you need to post, including the author's bio, photos, HTML code and canned interviews. You may also send up to 5 interview questions for the author to answer (questions are requested a week in advance of your posting date). To see how this works, visit Blog Tour Spot.

To join, just email Tina at info@blogtourspot.com and let her know which option(s) you prefer. You may do one or all of them. The reading option (option 3) is currently the only option that will receive a book for participating.

I am always looking for additional participants in our tours, so if you know anyone who might be interested please feel free to pass this information along.

I look forward to working with you.

Sincerely,
Tina
The Blog Tour Spot

What You Think About God Matters

"Thinking rightly about God." This is one of the phrases my hubby said and absorbed in seminary. Just lolling the words on my tongue gets me excited. Why? Because theology matters, folks. You may say, "Well, I'll leave all that theological wrangling to theologians and professors. I don't have time."

The truth?

You must think deeply about what you actually believe. Who you actually believe.

Who is God? Who are you in relationship to Him? What does He require? What makes Him smile? What grieves him? Do you truly believe He is sovereign?

I've been thinking a lot about people and theology and tragedy. And this is what I've come to see. Tragedy reveals your theology. You may say, "I believe God will provide." But what if you lost your job? Is that still your belief?

We faced this when we lost our home to a conman while we were missionaries in France. Of course, my initial reaction was shock and anger and fear. Initially, I worried that we'd lose our credit, our home, our financial reputation. But as all that settled into me, I stopped myself. In the quiet, the Lord said, "Mary, do you truly believe I own the cattle on a thousand hills? Or not?"

I wrestled. I had said I believed that. Many times. But now I had the chance to truly see if my theology was reality.

"Yes, Lord. I believe. I trust You," I said. In that moment, the most beautiful and counterintuitive peace settled over me. And then we lived happily ever after.

Nope.

We did lose the house.

Our credit was thrashed and trashed.

We went through foreclosure.

But the miracle of the ordeal was this: God infused perfect, surprising peace in me throughout the 6-month-long trouble.

And ever since that time, my worry quotient when it comes to money is much, much lower.

This is why knowing what you believe and Who You believe is important today. Because there will be tragedy knocking someday. The question is: Will your theology stand up to the tragedy?

Need Influencers for A Slow Burn

If you would be interested in becoming an influencer for A Slow Burn, please email me your name and address. An influencer is someone who reads the book, tells some friends, writes a review--generally someone who chats about it.