And then I read this gem:
"In truth, the idea that any element of God's creation--be it music or a tree--has to do something in order to justify its existence has more to do with capitalism, consumerism, and marketing than with the doctrine of creation" (p. 104).
This turned my world upside down. Why? Because my whole life I've (wrongly) felt that in order to justify my existence on earth, I had to do things. To perform. To be perfect. To do everything right. And if I didn't (which happens every. single. day), I felt I had to reason to be here.
But that's looking at creation (me) as a commodity, not as a created being. It's assigning worth based on my intrinsic value to produce, to fill holes, to do things.
It's not true.
It's not true.
It's not true.
As much as I've entrenched this idea way deep into my DNA, it's not true that I must live up to standards or be super cool to earn my keep here. I simply must be. To revel in being a creation, dearly loved by Jesus, sacrificed for, graced unconditionally.
I am not a product.
I do not need to market me to prove my worth to others.
I am too valuable to be consumed.
I wonder how much my mindset about everything is tainted by a consumeristic mindset. I wonder if I view others as things to be had instead of people to be loved. I wonder why I've lacked in grace for myself when I didn't perform up to standards.
What if I'm just loved? Right now. Right here. For no other reason than I am a creation who breathes, laughs, weeps, rejoices, hollers, loves?
It may take me a while, but I'm liking the sound of these words: I don't have to justify the space I take up on earth any more.
9 comments:
I guess that's why God created all the stars and all those ocean creatures, too. For us to discover that He made things just because He wanted to and He values them. Thanks for the insightful post.
Mary,
Oh, how I could have written this post so easily a few years back. I, so struggled with my worth, and when I was diagnosed with breast cancer, I found myself arguing with God. What good was I now? It is within this dark journey, I found my true worth--God loves me just because! I am praying that you continue to find that freedom!
Mary, wow, because I wrote something similar less than a week ago. Please don't think of this as me promoting my blog so much as offered a flower back to the one you just handed me. I don't know how to post links in comments boxes, so I apologize. I hope you'll have a chance to read it and see how parallel we are on this:
http://roxanesalonen.blogspot.com/2010/04/faith-fridays-because-we-exist.html
Many blessings!
Roxane
Mary, through reading your blogs posts, I can tell this is a time of reckoning for you...we are told to examine our faith (2 Corinthians 13:5)..it's a good thing. I go through the process "often."
God has given me many "words" through the process, some of which come to mind as I read your posts:
"For whoever exalts himself will be humbled, and whoever humbles himself will be exalted." (Matthew 23:12)
"If anyone wants to be first, he must be the very last, and the servant of all." (Mark 9:35)
"Humble yourselves, therefore, under the mighty hand of God so that at the proper time HE may exalt you," (1 Peter 5:6)
Jesus replied, "No one who puts his hand to the plow and looks back is fit for service in the kingdom of God." (Luke 9:62)
And ULTIMATELY...this is the Word God has given me that trumps all the others...it's His Word that gets to the "heart" of the message..."IT's NOT about US!"
"He must become greater and greater, and I must become less and less." (John 3:30)
When we redirect EVERYTHING to point to Him, we have accomplished our purpose. Everything we do and say should point to Jesus. It's all about whether or not we're a "Fork." In the words of Jim Elliot, “Lord, make me a fork in the road so that when
people meet me they have got to decide about You. Make me a fork in
the road.”
That's it...that's the secret to life, that's our purpose as a child of God...when we lift Him up...HE will exalt us. You exist to bring HIM glory...it's really that simple...and when you seek HIM always...above all else, He will GIVE you ALL the desires of your heart...and SO MUCH MORE! (Matthew 6:33) I always try to remind myself that "my story" is for "His glory!" (not my own) ;)
Sending love, hugs, and prayers,
Cherie
It is Thursday and I'm just reading this, but yesterday I went for a long walk to meditate on His Word and listen (for once!) -
I've been having the exact same struggle: how do I justify and even monetize myself to contribute to the "greater good."
God's Word drew me, over and over, to consider His Genesis of Everything. The most plain and simple reading of His account of creation is that it was a fanciful act. Not that it was frivolous - no, quite purposeful - but that its purpose was not to have a purpose as I would define it, but to bring Him pleasure.
I find it remarkable that you would post something that so eloquently confirms these thoughts the same day I awoke to the truth that has been there all along: we work at the pleasure of an easy master, who has yoked Himself to us to share a burden that is impossibly light.
Thank you.
Mary, as I was praying over you today...God gave me another Word...wanted to share:
"How can you believe, when you receive glory from one another and do not seek the glory that comes from the only God?" (John 5:44)
I think, too often, the praise we receive from others drowns out the praise that comes from God. We all struggle as servants to serve without any other praise than from our Master himself. But in the end...it's only God's view of us that matters. In the end...we will only stand face to face with Him. May His only words to you and I be, "Well done, good and faithful servant."
Your praying sister,
Cherie
So true, Kathleen. I'll remember that when I look at the stars tonight.
Kim, I would have the same reaction, but so glad you worked through it.
Roxane, how cool that we're on the same wavelength.
Cherie, as always, thanks for your truth-written words.
XDPaul, ah sweet Genesis
Mary:
That statement is so freeing. I was in counseling different times in my life. The last counselor kept trying to get me to see that.
God loves us because He made us,not because we did anything to deserve His respect.
Lovely words from a lovely woman of God -- because you are loved!
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