Relevantblog has moved!

I've launched a new look, providing more help for those who are overcoming a difficult past at the new and improved MaryDeMuth.com. I'd love your feedback!

So stop on by. Leave a comment. Linger. Read the archives. Share your own thin places story, a time when God came near, here.

For all you writers out there: Find out how you can write a powerful nonfiction or fiction book proposal here.

Find a listing of all my speaking topics, including new ones about healing from the past, here.

Like photos and photography? Here's a recent listing of my photos.

Don't know what to fix for dinner? All my recipes from A Daily Recipe are on this site. Click on Recipes on the upper part of the site to see over 90 recipes.

And if you'd like to read even more about writing, publishing, and the writing world, click the Writing link on the top of the site.

With joy,
Mary DeMuth
founder of Relevantblog

I'm sorry for my neglect

Just a quick post of apology. I've been working like a crazy woman on my new site, so I've neglected this blog a bit. The new and improved site will have my blog spank dab in the middle, content changing daily. I'm really excited about that. It should be up in the next few days, and when it is, I'll announce it to the world!

Are you Listening to Goliath or God?

This is a guest post from author and speaker, Jim Watkins, a terrific communicator and a sweet man of God. I hope you enjoy it!


***
David had a choice in 1 Samuel 17. He could believe the promises of Goliath or God.

Goliath walked out toward David with his shield bearer ahead of him, sneering in contempt at this ruddy-faced boy. "Am I a dog," he roared at David, "that you come at me with a stick?" And he cursed David by the names of his gods. "Come over here, and I'll give your flesh to the birds and wild animals!" Goliath yelled.

David replied to the Philistine, "You come to me with sword, spear, and javelin, but I come to you in the name of the LORD of Heaven's Armies—the God of the armies of Israel, whom you have defied. Today the LORD will conquer you, and I will kill you and cut off your head. And then I will give the dead bodies of your men to the birds and wild animals, and the whole world will know that there is a God in Israel! And everyone assembled here will know that the LORD rescues his people, but not with sword and spear. This is the LORD's battle, and he will give you to us!"

As you know, it was Goliath who became buzzard meat.

We have a choice whose promises we will believe: our enemy or our God:

"You're a loser, a worthless failure" or "You're a child of God."

"You can't do it" or "I will give you strength."

"You're out of work and you're going to starve" or "I will provide for you."

"You have six months to live" or "In Me, you have eternal life."

"Your prodigal children are lost" or "I will guide them home."

"No one loves you" or "I love you unconditionally."

"You're alone" or "I am with you."

We have a choice whose promises we will believe: the loser or the winner.



© 2009 James N. Watkins

Finding God in Difficult Places: Guest Post by Mary-Anne Crooks

This email came to me from Mary-Anne after she read my missing chapter from Thin Places. (You can receive it by signing up for my newsletter here.) I loved her response so much, I asked her if she would allow me to post it on my blog. You can find out more about Mary-Anne here.

Hi Mary

Thank you for sharing that missing chapter with us.  To tell you the truth, I found it inspiring - the reason for this was your honesty.  So many of us were raised in churches where we couldn't say if we felt 'down' or 'sick' or were struggling financially as that was negative talk but what about the Psalmists and how honest they were with God, voicing their struggles but also their victories.

We had a prophecy years ago, (about 24yrs) when we were told we would 'be blessed beyond our wildest dreams' but would walk 'through fire' first - well, we have definitely walked through the fire, but we are not the only ones - I don't know anyone that has just flown through life with all falling into place at the right time, in the right place.

So often, as when we, as a family, faced my cancer - I didn't understand, I questioned God, I had a tantrum or two (being honest) but knew that my Father understood, that He cared and that He cried when we cried.  I also knew He was holding tightly onto my hand and believe me, I was holding tightly onto Him.  At the time we couldn't see the big picture, we only saw our tiny world, our fight, but as time as gone on we are starting to see some of the big picture.  If I hadn't had cancer I would never have started to write as I have always been busy with business ventures, teaching etc and never found time.  My husband encouraged me for years to write - I firstly didn't have the time and secondly never thought I could, even though God had given me the ability to start a computer teaching company; doing everything from the start (to the finish), from writing the manuals, to approaching schools, to being secretary, to teaching.  Eventually we had 22 schools with 21 000 children going through our system weekly - but that wasn't me, it was a gift that God gave me.  

Saying that though, that was a specific season in my life but He had other plans for us that involved us losing the business, going to Ireland (not understanding) but later seeing that if we hadn't gone there our eldest daughter wouldn't have acquired University status.  We then went to England and I got sick - couldn't understand all of that, but I had the best Oncologist available to me, our youngest did her A-levels (major in drama) and went onto University - both have now finished, my youngest graduates this month.  She was voted 'best actress' at their red carpet event at Bath University and then was voted as the most likely to become a famous actress.  She knows that it was all because of the talent God has given her and is determined to make it and use any success that comes her way to glorify His name.  My eldest is working this year to get enough money together to go back next year and do her Masters - she has a BA Honours degree in Writing - writes beautifully, much better than her mother!

Anyway, that is another story but what you said is so true - we so often don't understand why because we don't see the big picture and 'what to us often feel as failures' to God are 'opportunities of teaching, preparing, getting us ready' for the big picture that only He sees.

I so wish Christians would go back to being honest, as you are, to being real and human.  God did not create us to be miniature God's, He created us in His image, to aspire to being and doing our utmost best as to Him, but as His children, to worship, need and adore Him.  If we were these perfect beings that so many preachers are 'presenting' themselves as now, then we wouldn't need our Father.  We have seen many pedestals kicked from under preachers recently - there can only be one God and therefore we will always be imperfect, will always face trials and tribulations; sometimes will not understand but it is not what we go through it is how we come through the other end - I think your time in France is a testimony to how you came through the trial, how you have grown closer to Him regardless - He knows the reason for that trial and believe me, I am sure He will shortly let you see some of 'that big picture' as well and be truly blessed by what He has prepared you and your family for!

Please don't take any note of my writing above - when writing novels and other stories, I am far more particular as to how I write - this is just straight from my heart and not from my brain (the one my husband claims to have all the time).

Best wishes and love

Mary-Anne

The Stuff or the Story…Which Comes First? Guest Post by Tim Sinclair

Today I'm privileged to have guest blogger Tim Sinclair. He shares a very insightful and well researched post about story and stuff. I hope it blesses you! Feel free to pass this on!

For years I’ve been convinced that the phrase “money can’t buy happiness” was just something poor people said to make themselves feel better.  You know, like the homely girl in high school who always said, “Beauty is in the eye of the beholder” or the football player who insisted that he was “street-smart”.

Well, apparently, the money can’t buy happiness mantra is half-true.  New studies out of Cornell University have revealed that investing in things (like video games or TVs or cars) doesn’t provide satisfaction…but investing in experiences (like bungee jumping or a trip to Six Flags or tickets to a Broadway show) does.

Personally, this makes sense.  Other than my first bicycle and the original Nintendo, I don’t remember a single Christmas gift I got as a kid.  But I vividly remember our family trip to Disney World and our regular vacations in the Rocky Mountains.  I don’t remember what my co-workers gave me for my 27th birthday, but I sure do recall jumping out of that airplane two days later.  I don’t remember any of the wedding gifts my wife and I received, but I can picture our honeymoon spot as if we were there yesterday.

I don’t know about you but, when reading research like this, I always ask myself two questions:

1. Why is this the case?
2. Why should I care?
   

The first question can be answered by Cornell professor of psychology (and co-publisher of the study) Tomas Gilovich.  He says, "Your experiences are inherently less comparative, they're less subject to and less undermined by invidious social comparisons.  Things like a new material purchase make us happy initially, but very quickly we adapt to it, and it doesn't bring us all that much joy.”

In non-Ivy League vernacular, the professor is saying that buying a new couch or shirt or shower curtain eventually leads us to second-guessing ourselves.  We start wondering if we should have gotten a better deal, or a different color or the style that our best friend has.  The story we told ourselves before the purchase (about what how amazing this new item would make us feel) quickly morphs with reality, leaving us with the stuff, but without the story.

Experiences are different.  Paying for a hot air balloon ride leaves a lasting memory that can’t easily be compared to someone else’s experience.  The memories are ours and ours alone…and, often, they get better with time.  In a nutshell, experiences give us the stuff first, and the story later.

So, why should I (and why should you) care?

Well, as a writer, I’ve found that it’s easy to compare my stuff with other writer’s stuff.  He sold 100,000 copies of his book.  She signed a three book deal with Harvest House.  That cover looks better than mine.  Their agent has better publishing contacts.  Etc.  Essentially, I’ve told myself a story about what having these things would be like, forgetting that, if and when I ever reach those benchmarks, the story will be over.  Over time, I’ll likely look back at my achievements as disappointments, because they didn’t live up to the naïve, made-up narrative in my head.

I’ve decided instead to let each phase of my writing journey be an experience.  Signing with my agent will be a lasting memory for me.  So will agreeing to my first-ever book contract last month.  While there will always be someone with a bigger and better publishing deal, these memories (and those still to come) are mine and mine alone…never to be compared against anyone else’s.

It’s true…happiness can’t be found in stuff.  But it can be found in stories.  Just make sure you put them in the right order.


About Tim: Tim Sinclair is a radio personality, blogger and soon-to-be author with a passion for real and relevant discussions on faith.  His first book, tentatively titled Re-Marketing Jesus, is due out in April of 2011 from Kregel Publications.  You can find him on Facebook (http://www.facebook.com/wbgltim), follow him on Twitter (@timjsinclair), or visit him at his website (http://www.tim-sinclair.com).

Very sweet affirmation today

Today a twitter friend said she heard my name on Breakpoint (Chuck Colson's daily radio broadcast.) Since he's highlighted two of my books already, I figured it must've been a repeat. But it wasn't. He and his staff selected summer reading pics, and mine were a part.

For writers who write behind keyboards hours at a time and struggle financially, this kind of affirmation goes a long way!

You can listen to the broadcast here. Click on BP radio on the right. This is the transcript. And here is the verbiage about my books (They got the Life in Defiance title wrong, but that's okay.)

Finally, let me give a brief mention to Mary DeMuth, whose Life in Defiance trilogy I’ve talked about twice before. She’s now wrapped up that trilogy with Living in Defiance, the poignant story of a battered wife who has to learn to understand God’s love for her. Mary also has a stunning new memoir, Thin Places, chronicling how God helped her in her own struggle to overcome the sexual abuse of her past.

Do women have an on/off switch for our busy brains?

As women, we carry so much. And not physically, though I've carried my share of babies, toddlers, hurting kids, etc. I'm talking about what's inside our brains. Pretty much chaotic craziness. I truly don't know how my hubby would survive without me. I hold so much in my database--bank statements, shot schedules, household chores, what's for dinner, who needs to be ferried where and when, grocery lists, car maintenance schedules, clothes the kids need . . .

I'm tired writing it all down.

Do you ever feel like throwing your hands in the air and saying a big, fat ENOUGH?

(Maybe I'm the only one.)

The thing is, I can take things off my plate. I've gotten really good at using the NO word. Only the NO doesn't extend to my crowded brain. I cannot stop my brain from thinking one thousand things at a time. Oh how tired it makes me!

So if you know where the on/off switch is to a woman's brain, please let me know. Mine's running on overdrive right now...